40 Thoughts I Had While Watching Boston Ballet’s The Nutcracker

Since you all seemed to have a good laugh [or eye roll] at my starred “review” of their production of Mahler’s Third earlier this fall, I’m back to share my thoughts on Boston Ballet’s Nutcracker 2015. My favorite of all Christmas-in-Boston traditions [though the Santa Speedo Run isn’t far behind.]

1. This Clara casting is on POINT(E).*
2. My dream is to one day be one of these Christmas Eve party guests.
3. Not, like, as a dancer. Like as an actual guest.
4. It’s a strange year if my family wears anything other than pajamas as we sit around on Christmas Eve.
5. May these boys please never realize that they are too cool for ballet.
6. Hey! Rachel Cossar!
7. Can you imagine a more dreamy job that half professional ballet dancer/half food blogger?

8. Whoever said the character Clara doesn’t dance much was seriously disturbed.
9. She is nailing those doubles and then some.
10. This bear can dance better than I will ever be able to. Wearing a costume that probably weighs as much as he does.
11. And that bear did not receive the standing ovation it should have.
12. Has anyone ever thought about how a nutcracker is sort of a random gift for a child?
13. I mean yes, it is a BEAUTIFUL doll too.
14. But when I was a kid if my dolls had special features it was like they could actually wet their diapers or spit stickers out of their stomach, not crack nut shells.
15. There is probably some 1800s German cultural history behind this that I should look up for context.
16. Sometimes I trip while dancing after drinking too, nanny.

17. But HOW do they make that tree grow like that?!
18. Two decades of watching Nutcracker performances and I still don’t get it.
19. I hate when ten-year-olds’ grand jetes are better than mine.
20. The rats are hands down the funniest characters in this ballet.
21. Like, rivaling Mother Ginger funny.
22. Who do you think is cuter– the baby rats, reindeer, or Gingerbread Man?
23. Ugh definitely those reindeer and their shuffling.
24. Why doesn’t it snow glitter when I emerge from my apartment each day?
25. I think my mom is crying.
26. Just realized I’ve been holding my breath through the entire snow scene.

27. Ok, I take that back, the little guards are now the cutest.
28. Can we get an encore on the Chinese performance?!?
29. Too short!
30. But ok, here comes my favorite part.

31. Those Russians though.
32. Not sore on the eyes either.
33. Is breakdancing customary in Russian dance?
34. I TAKE IT BACK AGAIN THE BABY SHEEP TRUMP ALL IN CUTENESS.
35. NO, THE BABY BLACK SHEEP!!!

36. The Waltz of the Flowers is so dreamy.
37. But I can’t help but stress thinking about that scene in The Little Rascals.
38. I never want this to end.
39. The Nutcracker ending is as sad as taking the Christmas tree down.
[trips out of seat while standing to applaud]
40. What a way to end an evening all about the grace of the human body.

All photos courtesy of The Boston Ballet

The Nutcracker features the full company, plus 11 Boston Ballet II members and 217 students! It runs now through December 31st. and tickets start at just $35. A purchase you won’t regret. MJF took me to Boston Ballet’s The Nutcracker for our first Christmas together, and you can bet that sealed the deal.

*This performance featured Delia Wada-Gill as Clara!

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Full disclosure:: I was provided with two complimentary tickets to The Nutcracker
for the purpose of this review. All opinions expressed are my own, and I have
attended Boston Ballet’s The Nutcracker in many years past, unsponsored.