Fam I have just realized that I haven’t been to a Boston Ballet production since The Nutcracker which means 1) that’s five months too long and 2) I guess it’s about time I get the dress I spilled my mocktail on that night dry cleaned.
Anywho, last week I finally found myself back at the Opera House for Boston Ballet’s Cinderella, a production I haven’t seen since I played it on VHS during my dance bathroom duty student teaching days! If you’re new around here, welcome to my quarterly 2.5-hour stream of consciousness I so graciously offer through all Boston Ballet performances.
1. Wait is the one stepsister a man?
2. PROGRESSIVE!
3. I’ll never understand why the original illustrator/costume designer/Disney animator (don’t @ me) chose to give Cinderella such cute raggedy clothes if she was supposed to look bad like you aren’t fooling anyone I would 100p buy that dress from Free People.
4. Ok so Dad is alive in this variation got it.
5. Gosh the stepsisters really wear the pants here huh
6. And where is stepmother?
7. Wait she’s not listed in the cast you’re telling me she doesn’t exist and Daddio still lets these bratz dolls push him around?
8. Think I’ve seen that broom prop before. Major Nimbus 2000 vibes.
9. Is a Harry Potter ballet on anyone’s radar?
10. The beggar woman! Is this Beauty & the Beast?
11. Holy CALVES sweet delivery boys.
12. Lol someone flung a string of pearls and all I can think about is my college dance professor’s disgust at dropped props left on the stage and how the life lesson she instilled in me was “if it’s raised get it off.”
13. Honestly all I want in life is a healthy family, a home with ample natural light and a hydrangea bush, a vintage Nantucket basket, and my leg to go as high as Seo Hye Han’s.
14. Fairy godmother enters stage Aww baby is kicking I assume that’s a sign for something cute or maybe just means time for a snack.
15. Pageboys!!!
16. There are no cuter children on this earth than those of the Boston Ballet School.
17. Seasonal fairies…..Sleeping Beauty?
18. Is that the twist? Are all Disney stories actually just ripped off from Cinderella the ballet?
19. Fall is honestly just showing off now.
20. Ok ladies yes let’s get in formation.
21. Spice Girls vibez rn.
22. These fairies + fairy godmother remind me of sophomore year Halloween when all of my girlfriends wanted to go as woodsy fairies and I insisted on dressing as Tinkerbell.
23. The pumpkin! So some Disney magic in this after all!
24. Intermission Wait I’m sorry stepsisters what they were BOTH men?
Photo by Gene Schiavone, courtesy of Boston Ballet
25. I thought it was just a good makeup job!
26. Lawrence Rines comin’ in hot.
27. He can jump higher than I am tall.
28. Oh no wig down wig down.
29. WHEW good recovery.
30. Oh wow here come all the king’s bros letsgo.
31. These fairies may or may not have the prettiest costumes I have ever seen.
32. Cindy is walking down the stairs en pointe I REPEAT walking down the stairs en pointe.
33. She is not giving him a second look.
34. Like literally, is not looking at him.
35. I still don’t understand why people have such a problem with schmucks falling in love in 8 weeks on The Bachelorette when these shenanigans are going down approximately 8 minutes after their first meeting.
36. Poor little cute baby pageboy is looking so nervous!!
37. Mini pumpkins…foreshadowing?
38. Oh. They’re oranges.
39. She’s not going to….yep yes she is going to waltz around with the broom.
40. Oh honey baby sweetie no you’re embarrassing yourself.
41. In what world, 1600’s France, Brother’s Grim, Disney, or the wide world of ballet does anyone actually think the glass slipper is going to fit on a stepsister?
42. Like ok children’s story but honestly you aren’t fooling them either.
Photo by Gene Schiavone, courtesy of Boston Ballet
Fin! As usual, I have nothing truly intelligent to say that will do this production justice, so you’ll just have to take my word that it is playful, entertaining, and beautifully costumed, designed, and danced as ever.
If you’re not convinced yet, why don’t you go ahead and take 40% off your ticket? Use code EMILY40 for 40% off all performances between now and show close on June 8. But hurry! Code expires at midnight.
Kidding, obv.
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